2015's Best: The Miss Bulgaria of My Life

"There's always that one friend who pushes you, to stand up for that dream <3"

The meme above was Miss Universe Bulgaria, Radost Todorova persuading Pia Wurtzbach to go over as she was announced the rightful winner of Miss Universe 2015.

There are times in life that you already know what's right, but you still need somebody to push you to stand up for that dream.

I believe my life's Miss Bulgaria is my friend, Kristin Valencia, Tin and I met as she was working in FEU Institute of Technology, she has been supportive of whatever I planned to do and she does correct me whenever I made something stupid. She has been a big part of my 2015 and has pushed me to be successful and to work within my goals disregarding whatever others will say against me.

Most of the time, I knew what's right, but I needed people to push me to the right side without doubting on me and Tin, for me is one of those gems I got for the last 3 years I have been working within the academe.

Best Moments of my 2015

So much has happened in 2015 and it would probably take a while for me to note them all, I'd like to give you some of my 2015's Best Moments.

 

 Parents 28th Wedding Anniversary

My dad and mom celebrated their 28th Wedding Anniversary last 2015, truth be told, they don't have the perfect relationship but for me, they are the best, cheers to more years to come, I dedicate my successes in life to them. 

Having the opportunity to reunite with my group back in college with our second dad, Engr. Elmerito D. Pineda, this happened around February 2015 in TriNoma, call me "mababaw" but this was meaningful for me since the five of us (plus Luke who was unable to come) got through a lot together that others may seem to hard to handle. I am grateful for Karl, Aura and Luke for giving me an "extended" family and my dad, Sir Elmer for always being around to help me whenever I need to.

March 2015: I passed the MIT Comprehensive Exams after one retake. 

May 26, 2015: I successfully passed the Final Defense for Alumni Tracer System with Decision Support for Universidad De Manila (3rd Trimester, 2014-2015), again, I would like to thank my mentor, EDP and my UDM-CET family for supporting me all the way.

I did two talks this year, the photo above was for the class of Ivann back in April while I did the Freshmen Career talk last July. I really am not keen of talking at first but I was discussing a lot most of the time and got used to it. I am hopeful that they got a lot from me, sana! :) 

Turned 24: I share the same birth month with my closest friend, Simon Ogbac

My birthday this year was sandwiched over my last academic term which was my final defense, therefore, no celebrations, no hooplah, I only spent lunch with my family and this guy right on this photo named Simon M. Ogbac, who I admit became closer to me this year (in fact I've known him for 5 years prior) whom I share the same birth month, he turned __ this year. I am grateful that I got to know him better, it was one of those things I would not trade for the world.

After 2 years, I finally graduated last December 8, 2015 - Master in Information Technology from FEU Institute of Technology.

Of Pageant Blogging and Thoughts of a Straight Girl

One of my favorite queens: Eva Psychee Patalinjug, Mutya ng Pilipinas 2014

Most pageant enthusiasts had all been members of the third sex, barely you see a guy or a girl who would follow pageants, let alone blog about them like it was a staple from food, lifestyle and other events.

I believe that I'm one of those included in the "barely" prototype.

I am also the author of Beauty Queens Online, a blog I separately put up for pageants, name it, be in those which are in the Big 4 (Miss Universe (we recently won, if in case you have been living in a rock for quite some time), Miss World, Miss International and Miss Earth) as well as the likes of Mister World and Mister International.

My fascination for pageants started when I was an Araneta Center Inc, seeing the likes of Shamcey Supsup, Isabella Manjon, Janine Tugonon and MJ Lastimosa (both ladies were runners up in 2011), I decided to follow their journey one by one, till I left Araneta up to now in which I graduated my graduate degree in IT, I am still following them yearly, mainly because I kept in the loop of their personal success stories and gain friends in the long run. I followed not just Bb. Pilipinas but Miss World Philippines, Miss Philippines Earth and even the likes of PEPPS' Misters 2015 just recently.

I am thankful for those who allow me to write about their pageants, I simply appreciate the idea of having this new pageants run by Filipinos like Miss Global Philippines and PEPPS family (Marianne Galang). I felt that pageants had already ventured away on just being a "total" beauty contest, it went from finding the right one for each organization's advocacy, I believe that Pia, being the new Miss Universe would be able to launch her advocacies through Miss Universe Organization. Neil Perez has also changed the game for Male Pageants, making Mister International one of those contests look forward to each year.

I simply look forward to what is to come in 2016, particularly from Bb. Pilipinas, I am hoping, I get to cover, I also look forward to PEPPS and the Misters 2016 Pageant.

Chasing the Dream, Finally: Road to Graduation

Back in 2013, when I started the Master in Information Technology program, my hopes was to jump in the academe and go straight to teaching, I was pretty much idealistic, I had met a bunch of great professors who have made me who I am today.

Fast forward to today, with the implementation of the K-12 program, I decided to put the teaching on hold, but I still have the same drive to actually excel and finish it. After all, it was just the last course: MPROJEC2 that I had taken residency of for the First Term of 2015 - 16.

First and foremost, I'd chase this dream for my parents, particularly my dad, Oscar Constantino Jr who wanted me to study in Graduate School pending unsuccessful applications since college teachers would need master's degrees. My mom Lolit for funding my study towards the undergraduate program, I'd do it over and over again to make you proud, I love you both.

To my mentor, Dr. Ace C. Lagman who has supported this project from ground up, even if  most of the time, we had our different ways, I knew you would want just the best in me and I hope never once did I disappoint you. If I did, I am sorry. I am thankful for the kind of friendship we had that we never really had to talk so much, instead we understand each others ways and continuously support each other, even outside the academe.

To my UDM group, particularly from the College of Engineering and Technology for supporting me throughout METRES up to MPROJEC2, to Engr. Elmerito Pineda who has been much as my rock, this would not have happened if not for your support, I am forever indebted for you. To all the UDM-CET graduates, thank you for all your suggestions and lastly, to UDM-CET Faculty Members particularly my dear friend Ms. Mona Earl Bayono, thank you for the friendship, be it all the time, virtual, I appreciate it having you in my life.

To my FEU Institute of Technology - MIT family: to Sir Joseph Gonzales who has been there for us from the beginning, to Ms. Kris for the assistance and for being my instant cheerleader whenever I felt like backing down. To the rest of my MIT batchmates from 2013, the road has never come easy but it has been better with you in it, shoutout to my solid friends: Joyce Tagnipez and Earl Alvaran, let's push on doing yours soon. Thank you for the friendship and for being with me against all odds.

To the rest of the lecturers I had, from my Senior Director for CS Ma'am Adao to Ma'am Rodriguez for MITSPEC5, thank you for the kind of exposure you've always given us.

To my alagas/children from FIT: Elaine, Jasper, Eishia, Ivann, Ana Gianelli, Sara, Jackie, Redvan, Ace and my ACM 2015-16 family for always believing in what "ate" can do, despite how krungkrung I may tend to be. A shoutout to my dearest Eishia and Ivann for always specifying "prinsipyo" muna Ate for the rest of your completion term, I hope I did well, Did I? .

To my core friends: Lyber, my brother in NZ Francis and my paks, Louise - I may not have been there all the time but you were there for me always. I hope my "negative" vibes didn't get into you. I love you three more than I will ever know. To Ly and Louise, let's catch up the soonest okay? I miss you Francis, Ramen date when you go home.

To my newfound friends whom I trusted with especially in taking me to food places: Richmond Lim and Kristin Valencia, thank you for keeping my sanity in check, for talking to me and bringing out the fire I had seemed to have lost throughout the program and for giving me the opportunity to vent even if it goes on in a cycle, I am forever thankful I had you.

To my FEU family - all rest with names I may forget, thank you.

Lastly, to the person who pushed me harder than the usual and a very good friend of mine, a certain statistician who goes by the name of Mr. Simon Ogbac, thank you for not giving up on me even if most of the time, I'd show frustration throughout the term, this would not have been possible without you: my angel and my lucky charm.

Pending bookbind and my SD's signature, I am praying I will see you December 2015.

Teacher's Month: From my Professor to my Statistician and now my Best Friend

I used to write Teacher's Month stories - ranging from the ones I had written after winning a contest with Metrobank to those I had published through my blog. For the first time (in a while), I write about somebody who started as my college professor, turned my project's statistician in MIT and now my best friend, something I am honored to have in my life right now.

Mr. Simon M. Ogbac had been a part-time lecturer for FEU Institute of Technology since 2008, I was in Second Year in 2009 when I had him as my Probability and Statistics and Math Methods professor, back then he was one of the class I had enjoyed taking up my Math with since he makes sure to reach out to the level of his students even those whom he felt had a hard time taking up his classes or those who are not interested in Math at all. Even if his time was golden and even if his students do not see him in FIT most of the time, He has made a mark by being a "student" choice for Math classes, with the term "swerte kapag kay Ogbac" or "sana sa kanya na lang kami ng Differential Calculus", anything more to that extent .

Don't get me wrong, Sir O's classes is never a walk in the park, you work hard to get those high grades, in between the start and end of classes, He knows who made an effort and who didn't, who worked their ass off understanding his equations and who was actually lax in their classes. He tries to erase the notion "pag Ogbac, walk in the park." and I believe I made a serious effort to understand his classes, all 2 subjects of it (and my grades were a picture of that effect). I think it was one of those classes I managed to ace aside from the one I had with Ms. Marcos.

He was not around when I graduated with my college degree back in 2012 since he worked for Adamson, but after which, he came back in 2013, he was then a friend whom I catched up from time to time. He was always the busy person, juggling things left and right, but remembers to talk to you with his spare time even with the help of a social media . That was for the span of 2 years, until early 2015 when we plan to meet up with my college batch mates which never materialized because of all the work we do (and eventually me taking up the MIT program).

We had the chance to work with each other for the Alumni Tracer project I had for my Master's Degree, that time at first I thought he can't really accommodate me but little did I know, he did, even in the ungodly hours after his classes, he entertains questions (had to adjust to going home late so he can accommodate me) and true to the fact that he wanted to help, he didn't ask for anything even during the time that I was telling him, "Sir, I passed."  He didn't even mention the term, "Libre ka naman Mich". Moreso, he extended help until the 1st term of 2015 -2016 by saying, "I just wanted to see you graduate, yun lang. You never have to do anything for me. Tama na sa akin yung ipagdasal mo ko sa Pink Sisters, tama na sa akin yung nasa Auditorium ka na and this being your final term" 

In that time frame, he was also my best friend, despite how busy he juggles everything, he was there when I say, "Dinner tayo after work?" provided it was a Monday or a Thursday night since he knew I just needed somebody to talk to. Recently, He was there to listen to all my bad vibes especially after a sudden decision of another person closest to my heart. I know I went gaga that time because I would not understand why, but instead of him turning his back on me, he just said, "Labas mo lang, Andito lang ako."

He proved to be my angel who was there at the right place at the right time and no matter how annoying I get, he makes it a point to be there from successes to failures to ending my Master's Degree to trying to care for me indirectly, there were times where he would quickly narrate, "junkfood nanaman yan" which made me forget eating my favorites now because it's too unhealthy.


There are a lot of times where he thought of quitting teaching, it was one of those in our discussions as friends for the last few months, but I believe once you have set your heart into something that you really wanted to do, you grow to becoming fulfilled as a teacher, which is why he was there for the last 12 years. Sir Simon is the kind of person who despite the struggles is fueled with passion for his craft and to making it better, rarely do I see somebody spend his 4 hours break studying every time or sleeping late just to be able to keep abreast with the times. There's no doubt for me, he is one of the best, one of those every student in FIT has been thankful for coming in their lives even once as their professor and one person whom I dedicate much of my success recently with. He himself inspired me to try teaching, something that he has supported me of doing all this time even the society tells me it is not feasible to do so.

An amazing teacher. A great listener and the best friend, total qualities of a very endearing person and a teacher at that. glad to have met him closer. We may not have been the original tandem to work but still glad to have worked with him as my statistician and glad to have him within my life as the best friend I'll ever wish for. You may have thought of quitting but please get yourself reminded of your worth and how people value you with what you had done for the last 12 years. If the world doesn't appreciate you for what you do, look back, you got me and the people who truly care for you.

This is my teacher story, somebody who entered my life as my professor and whom eventually the person I share most of my success recently. Towards my goal to a degree are people who made it possible, one of them is Simon Ogbac, somebody I never hesitate to call as my angel and nevertheless, my lucky charm.

#ForeverGrateful: How Bong Manuel Changed My Life

Graduation, 2012 and in 2015, I know this was what she wanted to see.

This post will not reach her (Ms. Bong Manuel) but I was bent on writing it since I need an avenue to express my thoughts. 

6 years ago, I met a professor who despite moving on to the Math Department used her Master's Degree to be able to reached out to us, her BS Computer Science students in the form of coding, flowcharts, just to be able for us to practice how we formulate our programs. First, I never understood it because it really gave me a hard time, I never understood the negative scores because of the wrong border or the wrong type of ballpen used, I never understood the discipline she always imposed but we managed to survive all 3 of her classes, Math Logic, Discrete Mathematical Structures and Math Analysis, which was then 5 units. We ended our relationship on a positive note, she was proud to see us all graduating in college on time after 4 years.

I knew her even more when I went back to enter graduate school, she wasn't bent on the idea that this was the journey I took because she was hoping to see me in the industry, but then again, she supported me from the very beginning. She knew how much I wanted to be a professor, something I strived to happen before K-12 was implemented, I took inspiration from her since she was one of the better teachers I saw in my lifetime. 

We strike random conversations especially when I visit her almost every Saturday (sometimes on weekdays, lunch breaks). She would ask about my capstone, I would ask her suggestions on how do I need to improve the revisions I made in my project, how do I plan to finish it (if I scheduled my life properly), how dad was (dad was Sir Pineda), how my day was, no matter how upsetting it may be, she was willing to listen. There were times she would randomly hug me out of the blue for no apparent reason, she just wanted to see me, that time, I didn't understand, now, I understood, it was her way of saying, "Andito ako, andito pa rin ako, Proud ako lagi sayo anak.". Though we do not talk publicly (it was Sir Simon who had to talk to her for me especially when she wondered if I passed my final defense), I had always felt on how much she cared that she asked me to work with SMO rather than having to deal with her.

I also imagined her frustration when she wasn't able to see me graduate back in July 4, she bent on saying, "anak, ilaban mo, kaya yan." but I didn't because I had prior commitments but now, I have all the reasons to fight for a 1st Term Graduation, I want to graduate not just for myself, but for the people who believed in me from Day 1 and she's one of them. Lagi niya sinasabi, patience lang anak, patience lang, okay, It will not be easy, pero anak kaya mo yan, I know.

We started on the opposite ends - I was her student who loathe her Math classes and she seemed to have the "terroristic" style of teaching that got into me and thus, my transcript was somehow affected  but fast forward to 2015, she and I went far from that approach and found the calmer her, she was the biggest reason of my success in my degree program apart from my family, my rock and my motivation and I would forever be grateful for Ms. Bong. 

Nay, Thank you! I really don't know kung aabot to sayo, pero I just want to let you know how important you were sa buhay ko. Always have, always will... I love you more than words could ever say.

#FathersDay: The Sweetest Thing My Dad did for Me

Me and my Dad: #1 Guy in my Life Timeline Forever

Novellino Wines had this contest on The Sweetest Thing My Dad did for Me in lieu of Father's Day, I would have thought of a lot of things and tried to join again but then again, I was a finalist last year so it was probably the reason why I didn't make it.

In full detail, the sweetest thing my dad did for me (actually both my parents) amongst many ways  I can think of was to support me during my Master's Degree in Information Technology program because I wanted to teach, it was something that I felt so frustrated about before as I applied and later on get declined because it was a requirement by CHED. He gave me the full support to go back to my alma mater and study: that's full support for 2 years, all because I wanted to teach and needed to pursue a higher degree to be able to qualify even if it was not the ideal job of a fresh IT graduate then in 2012 (I graduated in 2012 with a degree in Bachelor of Science in Computer Science at FEU Institute of Technology)

To date, I am still completing my capstone project with Universidad De Manila, My dad hasn't stopped giving me all the encouragements needed for me to push harder, during the times when a few tried to believe I can managed, he never stopped believing because he knew how much I wanted it. I lost hope at times but he always reminded me, mas mahirap yung pinagdaanan mo before, yung 25 units, naalala mo yun anak? And then I show of my grin, sige kakayanin, he would even tell me that Tatay Elmer is around, why worry? (Tatay Elmer is Sir Elmer Pineda from UDM-College of Engineering and Technology).

As I work on completing Alumni Tracer, I look back at the people behind me, two of which are my parents who has supported me in whatever I wanted to do. I'll never stop striving to be successful and I will always be proud to be your daughter.

Hoping for a diploma soon! I love you, will not be here if not for you and Mama! Happy Father's Day! :)

#FathersDay On Loving Like a Father and how his daughter reacted to it

Father's Day is roughly on the 21st of June, too early for the post but I thought of two blog articles reminding me of FATHERS, the first one is on loving like a father (even if we are not related) and thought of writing no less than Engr. Elmer Pineda.

I won't detail how we met, what he has done for me et. al. since you have read that in my further posts, I would just like to describe how he has loved me much like a daughter in ways that I never expected.

Sir Elmer (or for my case, Daddy P or Tatay P) has probably been one of the most approachable professors there is teaching at the very moment, I saw it with my two eyes in Far Eastern University and in Universidad De Manila who became my client in my Capstone Project. He tries to make sure everything is in order with his students - but does not get into the personal level until needed. When he makes a commitment, he makes sure he honors it with his fullest of ability and he does not promise anything which he feel he can't give his 100%.

On my end, I've been blessed to have him around as my second father for all the things he does for me. During the course of the development of Alumni Tracer, we had a lot of misunderstandings but he has accepted me every time I chose the different way from what he asked me to do. He never forced me to follow immediately, instead, he lets me realize my shortcomings which I am to use in order to be better. He never asked for anything behind the support he has given, all he wanted was for me to do my best in everything I am committed to do. Everytime I commit a mistake, I react in a way that hopefully, I can turn it into positive in nature, even if our drama was, repeat, do, act, repeat, do, act.

Minsan, he'll give a look that speaks everything. He never needed to talk, its like his heart speaking to me. To Dad, I love you with all of I am like a father to me, I am never perfect but you always showed me what being ME is all about: BEST with whatever I do and worthy to be loved. He may have to wait before seeing me march towards my MIT degree but I am sure he will tell me, "Mich, mabuti na din yan, graduating late does not make you even less of a person, always remember that at the end of the day, those who truly loved you will always be proud of you." 

#Reflection: Of Pushing Yourself to Please Others and Forgetting who Cares for You

Let's start every day with a smile :)

Minsan sa sobrang gusto mo iplease ang tingin mo dapat iplease, nakalimutan mong may nasasaktan ka na pala. Hindi lahat makukuha to satisfying people because you have to... you dont need everybody in your life, you need people who will bring you closer to achieving your dreams. You need people who loved you from the very beginning not those who were there because they benefit from you or you are on top and they need to be on top. Hindi lahat gusto kang makitang masaya, hindi lahat gusto nasa tuktok ka, know who you affiliate yourself with.

I learned that I can never have everybody to side with me, may dadating, may aalis, may magmamarka sa buhay mo. I learned the more that you try to push yourself to satisfy people, nasasaktan mo na yung taong mahal ka even if you are at your lowest point. 

I had to learn the hard way this week, akala ko galit talaga sa akin yung taong walang ginawa kung hindi alagaan ako, it turns out, nasermunan ako pero the following day, ok na, all he wanted was the best for me. I was even scared to face him again because I don't know what to say, nagmukha akong walang utang na loob for that day, I dwell on the past when the present tells me that I don't have to mind what happened before, I make a new life every single day.

Para sa taong yun, I'm sorry and you know how much I love you. 
 

You don't live to please everybody, you need just to please God.  And if you have that kind of people in your life, yung inalagaan ka at whatever point you are, please keep them close to your heart. It's not just within your blood lines (Love you Papa and Mama) but those people who stays in your life, no matter how low or high you may think you are.

Turning 24 and Grateful

Posting this weeks in advance for my dreaded schedule might eat up the time even to blog.

I turn 24 on the 22nd of May, truth be told, the past 24 years of my life has came on a whirlwind but I do my best to make the most out of it, of course I do it for God's greater glory. I don't have the perfect life but the people around me has made it a blessed life.

I have extra supportive parents - to whom didn't stop loving me and who supported me from the very beginning until now that I am taking up the Master's Degree program in Information Technology. I never expected to actually be this way, I wanted to major in Political Science and take up Law but life brought me otherwise, don't get me wrong, I am grateful for what my degree brought me and what it has become. I love my dad and mom, with my entire thing that I am.

To the Constantino & Loyola relatives of distant connections - Thank you, kahit madalas ang peg ko e the nerdy one, I hope I did make justice to my peg.

To my MIT family: Sir Joseph Gonzales and Mam Kris Ericka Are who has extended so much support to the program and to us their students. To MIT Batch 2013 to which I spent my weekends with, I have never been too grateful.

To my batchmates on my college degree - BS Computer Science especially to the original proponents of Alumni Tracer, Karl, Luke and Aura, your trust that I can do it altogether is enough for me right now. Please let's see each other soon ;) I'm sorry to all those who made yaya na never kong nasamahan, babawi ako, hopefully.

I am grateful for Mr. Ace Lagman's trust in me, or should I say, Doc Ace. He inspired me to be better and to try to exude a bit confidence in what I do, thank you for always taking me out of my shell, making me improve and pushing me to be better.

To my FEU-EAC siblings: Jasper, Redvan, Elaine, Ian, Ivann, Angela, Sara and all the rest I will fail to mention, thank you for always reminding me how much I can be the best ate, if not the person you once looked up to. There are times in my life when I just needed a push, and you were there to give it all for me. Love you! :)

To Teh K, Lyber, Francis and Louise (my paks): My forever #friends, thanks for always trying to bring back my confidence, joining me on food and shopping trips.  To Ms. K, Alam mo na, salamat, love you teh! :D Sa tatlong sawa na sa pagiging nega ko, paks, Francis and Lyber - positivity na lang from this point forward.

To my FEU family, it's been the best home after graduation: To my FEU-Makati friends lead by Mam Cathy Catamora who never stopped believing in me, meron sigurong factor yung belief ninyo sa confidence ko sa sarili ko at present. I never look at life, the best way it was right now because you showed me how great I can be if I just believed. "Ang tiwala, binibigay at dinedevelop lang yan!" 

To my dearest Mr. Simon Ogbac and Ma'am Evelyn Ruth Manuel for always being there to push me to be better, to Simon who never stopped believing in the things I am supposed to do and to Ma'am whose knack is to protect and love me, I can never stop being grateful.

Lastly, to the person who has molded me for the past 5 years in all capacities: as my professor, mentor, adviser, best friend and tatay, Engr. Elmer Pineda, thank you for being my rock and for staying with me hanggang dulo kahit minsan I failed to satisfy you with the choices I made sa buhay ko. It has been my honor to have you in my life at andito lang ako lagi, always.

24 and still a long way to go, I am a work in progress, for whatever it has been, I am forever grateful.

Through the Years in the Field of Writing

Me in one of my birthdays with my friends 

I started writing when I was 15, probably the less serious ones, poems, stories which I gladly show my HS teachers (Ms. Pascua) and my HS barkada (Janina, Rachelle, Maikee, Aileen), I had a fan-base, most especially Janina who would give me the look na hey. asan na mga poems mo? that I gratefully obliged since my schedule was not as stingy as then.

On my senior year, I was so happy when I was one of the few members who stayed with Journalism Club under Mr. Miranda and Ms. Alalayin, I spent the entire year as an Editor-in-Chief for GLIMPSE making me realize how hard it was to create a newsletter, that alone was a bit of history for me.

Going to a tech school when I was in college had me joining The Cursor, this was a bit of a formal one since I do coverage, run here and there, take pictures, observe and run stories, prepare actual budget and all. I enjoyed that kind of extra-curricular work until I realized I spent my entire college life with The Cursor, gained a lot of friends and experiences that I treasure for a lifetime.

Now, sans graduate school, I continue to blog and write poems, stories, hopefully in 2016, submit an entry to the Palanca or Philpop (is there any musical person who would like to arrange my songs)... and hopefully, someday be a real life published author.

To Ms. Pascua, Janina, Rachelle, Journalism Club, The Cursor, My bosses from ODesk and the rest who had seen me grow as a writer, be it on print or online, I hope my writing did justice to your belief in me.

#ForeverGrateful: How Dad changed my Life

5 Years of Just Being Together: Through time with Dad 

5 years ago, I 've met someone whose selfless and caring attitude transcends on all things possible that goes by the name of Engr. Elmer Pineda.

Little do I know that even after I had my black graduation toga back when I was in college, He will still be an active asset of my life today, somebody who never changed, somebody I can talk to about anything. Somebody whom I was never afraid to refer to as my father in FEU... or in other ways, dad.

I consider him as my angel, in all sense of the word, God's way of telling me that the decisions I made recently may not be the best ones but they are worthy of a great journey. He never stopped making me feel important   encouraged me to become the best I can be despite every failure that came my way, do proud in every milestone I had achieved never judged me based on the things that happened, for he knew me better than the others and knew I should make it once given second chances.

I may have been some headache of yours at times but I know you will always give me the chance to do things over and over. It took me a while to accept things as it is right now but I understood what he often tells me: The art of making dedma lang Mich, dedma lang, you know yourself better than they do. He would just often tell me this: When all else fails, when they cast a doubt on you, here I am always so proud of you. It sounded cliche, but it was something that reassured me that someone else will always believe in what I do and he would never stop believing in me.

I'll end this post by saying: There's no other way I would have lived my life if I was to choose to redo things over than to have you in it even if the same things had to happen again.  I don't know what I did to deserve you in my life as close as you are to me but I am sure God has the answer to everything I had in mind right now. I just hope that He continues to shower you with good health (I can't wish for anything else for the longest time possible since you have everything) so that a lot more can experience this as much as I did.

I'll do my best to end this journey as planned, how it was supposed to be. For now, I look back and see you as one of those who support me immensely and my heart is filled with gratefulness.

I'll see you when I graduate, no matter how long it may take me to, to get that MIT across my name. Love you Dad, always and forever.

#ForeverGrateful: Learning life the Cathy Way

2015 brought me to knowing one lady who has been supportive of me in whatever way she can, its not that I don't feel like I deserve it, but coming from someone who knew me because of dad, I never felt it so real as how she did to me.

Ms. Cathy and I never met when I was in college, it was in 2009 when they moved to FEU Manila, but I knew her by name then by stories of the people who were left in FEU-East Asia. Fast forward to 2012, we got to work in one stable, she was in Makati as a Program Head for IT while I work in Manila as a part of IT Services, it was just a series of greetings, nods, until the first time I stepped foot in Makati where it all became different.

I saw how much she believed in what I can do -  that conversation was something important because it was way way different from what I felt before, pwede pala, pwede ko ulit pagkatiwalaan yung sarili ko, akala ko pangarap lang talaga because pinagsisiksikan ko before sarili ko sa isang bagay na ayaw sa akin. 

Thank you for trusting and for allowing me to be ME. No hesitations, No unneccessary touch ups, hindi dahil need niyo, basta gusto mo lang ako pagkatiwalaan and you wanted to have room for me to try doing things, that for me is special. Thank you for showing me that one reject is not the end of everything, that with great preparation I can be able to deal with what I have with no boundaries. There is no doubt in my mind why everyone thinks of you highly, it is because of the character and the skill nonetheless.

 I really dont know how future will unfold but I am hoping I can have the opportunity to do what you asked me to do even some place. 

To the lady who has made FEU-MK's IT program meaningful as it is today and the person who never fails to restore faith in myself, Happy Birthday (on the 19th)  Happy Mother's Day Madam Cathy. You are every piece of an angel to everybody you've been with and may God bless you and your good heart forever.

Random Thoughts about LOVE

There are many forms of love on earth (that I would not go on detail, you should know it already). We wanted to be love, the way we hoped we do, but in reality, you can see love is quite unfair, you may love even more, you get hurt but you choose to love and give the opportunity to grow with the person. 

1) Love is all about ACCEPTANCE 

When you love, you accept everything there is about the person. I got to encounter people outside my family who actually had different sexual orientations in life with their respective partners. I accepted the fact, at the end of the day, its not their orientation in life (sexuality) that you deal with everyday, it is the entire being as a person. My heart will be forever with them. 

Love is accepting that nothing is perfect, you make mistakes, you change beliefs, you experience challenges, but love makes everything look so surreal, no matter how hard life maybe. 

2) Love is not just about ME, its about YOU.

We want to be love the same way we love (right?) but what if you were both trapped in the situation that the other cant love you the same way you do? 

This is where patience will come along - when you accept that you love the person, you are willing to wait - no matter how hard it takes and you are willing to love, no matter how stupid you feel you are at the moment. 

Love can make you crazy - for relationships that may seem to be distant, relax do not panic, there will come a time that if you are meant to be with each other, you will be together peacefully. Sadly, there are relationships that end (but let's not dwell on that shall we?) 

3) Love is not SELFISH 

You love then you expect to get everything back? That's selfishness brother. Love is giving everything without expecting anything in return, you deserve to be love and you are made to give love. 

4) We are made to love, so love freely.

We should never cage ourselves in engaging to others who can only give us less than what we expected to love, we are made to love so love freely.

True love knows no boundaries, you don't limit yourself with what you think is due, you love because it is right. The heart we have is made to sharing your life with others. Go out and love. 

Reunited and it feels so GOOD: Timeout with my Second Family

5 years ago, I had three fabulous group mates back in college - Karl Jerome Baguino, Ma. Aura Angelie Cortez and Luke Villanueva, we had our own set of differences, we had to complement each other in the process - I am not a coding genius but Karl and Luke hates documentation - our group back then was a typical powerhouse because we are armed to do anything, then we failed, then we rose up to the promise of graduating on-time in 2012.

We lead different lives for the past 3 years and together with Engr. Elmer Pineda who has seen us every step of the way, we formally reunited in a dinner last week and see, three years never made that much difference. My groupmates never changed... Our friendship never changed.

Actually, I feel a bit guilty for not attending anything in that span: I became too engrossed with studying while the others had a chance to see each other, I guess the idea now is to lighten up since I'm done with my acads, hopefully to push this thesis to the finish line. 

To my dearest Alumni Tracer Family, I really do appreciate the fact that you are there for me until today, no words can express how grateful I am that you are there to support me. To Karl, Aura and Luke ---> no words can express how much I love you guys! 

To my dear Sir P who has acted as my mentor, second father, best friend, adviser and my forever confidence booster, thank you for driving all the way to TriNoma (yes!) and for spending time with us that day. Thank you for everything you do for me until today, for putting light whenever I need to and for guiding me and for showing me how far I had become. You were worth every single thing I cried for back when I was in college. Thank you for helping me cross the finish line, I will see you there. I promise that. 

Love: In all Forms on Earth

Last week was Valentine's Day, I probably saw a lot of feeds about being bitter (yes, predominantly on Facebook), Single Awareness Day for some while others kept the day going with roses and flowers, I do believe that Valentine's Day was more of that, Love is always made available in every form: whether with your family, friends, acquaintances... you share God's greatest gift of loving people and being with them without asking for anything in return.

My parents always share to me the value of loving people no matter how hard they were. I was given the kind of life where I didn't have to exert so much effort in being where I am today that you get to appreciate how they brought you up each day. They loved me so much that they never did demand anything or even if they do, they will ask you to just do your best next time (sometimes this was about scholarships back when I was in college). I always pray for their good health and safety on their jobs for I believe I am nothing without them. 

I've written about it so many times, there is also the kind of love that is beyond words. I learned in my heart that I had space for someone who cared for me more than the usual. He's a dad, friend aand now my client and yet, his focus was just to help me grow as a person, never naging demanding... ako pa ata ang demanding. Most often, we share the different views on life, but he has always maintained this to me: "I am here because of service, to all of you in whatever capacity I can, expecting nothing in return kung hindi success ng inyong lahat."... 5 years of standing by him was no joke especially for what we had been together, but the best decision I made in my life in that aspect so far. If there's one thing I do pray to the Lord is just his good health, he is an AMAZING person with a definite heart of gold.

Ms. Bong Manuel was another perfect example, I can come out of my shell because she has always been there to listen to me. She allowed me to just sit down and talk about anything and candidly, babanat lang yan na.. Tara, bowling tayo mamaya which I wanted to do with her when schedule permits. I never had to explain why I needed to talk to her, she knows, she has this side that students do not see. 

I'm a certified ate to a lot of my EAC babies. They helped me understand how life should be, na masaya mabuhay without hesitations and na magaling ako, di mo lang alam ate. To Ivann, Aira, Denden, Queenie, Matthew, Elaine, Redvan, Angela, Ian, Sara and many to mention and the rest of those kids who really look up to me, I love you all from the bottom of my heart. I got my own cheer squad telling me, "Ate, ikaw lang naman ayaw eh, go na... gawin mo na what you have wanted to do."

I am a proud ate to where they had been now after they left FEU-EAC, I know deep in my heart they will not forget what we went together.

Lastly, to people like Ms. Cat Catamora, who I dont know what saw within me. God bless you and your heart... You have been so good... There are times in life you would be blessed with people who just come in your life to make you better or to trust you with things that you won't imagine you can be doing... Sana tama yung paniniwala mo sa akin. :)